Ever since I was one of the littles, I've had a desire to sit and be with God.

As a little, I remember kneeling and praying, a good amount of tears, and questions unanswered in those moments.  I remember often feeling more lost after praying than I was before I had prayed, I remember trying to discover exactly what the Holy Ghost was to me, I remember trying my hardest to listen to the promptings of the Spirit, but there were very few times I can remember actually acting on what I wanted.  I would kneel there with my eyes wet and glistening, looking up to the heavens, waiting for some mighty love and all powerful presence to envelope me.

Many times did I pray, waiting for an answer that I didn't think would actually come, because answers never seemed to come.

I did write down a few of those prayers.  They're in various notebooks and I'll come across one of them every once in a while.  Every time I do see one, I get struck with the recognition that I always received an answer.  Always.  Within the same week of most of those prayers, there was an additional entry, relating something I had learned that week.  I don't remember if I had connected the dots back then, but now I have the opportunity to see that I always received exactly what I wanted or needed to grow and move on.  Now, it's a bit of a different story.  I have this intuition that points me exactly which way to walk.  I'm not perfect at following it, but I do know the direction I'm headed and that every step through the fogginess opens your eyes to space you couldn't have seen if you'd stood exactly where you were just a few moments before.  I know how to listen to my intuition.

No, I don't get to sit and be with God.  That's still a ways away.  However, I do know now that His desire is to respect and love me as well.  I do know that because I am fallen, it will take effort to reach Him again, but that He also has provided a way for us to return to Him and that He is actively pursuing our return to Him.

Can we have a few moments where we talk about how great God is and why?  I so very dearly enjoy praising my Heavenly Father.  Let me tell you why.  ;)

Dallin

Sure, healing takes time.  At least a little, anyway.  What healing really requires to be fully effective is energy.  Any change in the body or mind requires energy or solid matter.  Beliefs are so important.

How the heck do I teach people?

I'm not nervous or self-conscious about being a registered minister of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I'm not even concerned with having incredible enlightening moments with people.  Those naturally come.

I have this desire to fulfill the purposes for which I came to earth, the desire and drive that has been instilled in this body to teach and be with everyone I can, and to repent and repeat.  Not specifically in that order.  I am doing that, and yet, I desire so much more.  I often sit and think freely about my vision for the future, about what it can be.  My goal setting consists of what I feel the desire to do and how to get it done.  It kinda shows when I write.

My concern is for those people who, in every situation, would not listen.  How can I persuade them of the goodness of God?  How can I help them enjoy this life more fully?  How can I share the message I know I am here to share?

I'm still figuring that part out, and that's okay, but it is nice to know that people will listen eventually.

Dear Dallin,

Sometimes the only reminder I need is that if we all knew what was going on, life would be null.

Always remember your commitments.  Always remember your people.  Always remember to act when moved upon to do so, like sending that popcorn cup to the Brown family for Ashley, or writing your boys letters.  They're still there.  People are always there.

Love, Me.

p.s.  They will need you for what you know, simply because knowing will inspire their trust, so trust your knowing.