Love, Worth, and Money: It's There.

I once had the privilege of spending time with a friend of mine that would give money away to people secretly.  He would hide it in their clothes, bags, cars, you name it.  Isn't that cool?

The sad part to me is that when people found that money, very few of them would accept it.  They would find ways to get rid of it, whether that be by trying to find out who it was that gave it to them, or just leaving it somewhere, or giving it to whoever passed by.

I've personally tried to give several of my friends money when they're in hard places or even when they're doing alright, and it blows me away how many people choose not to gratefully accept it.

I believe it has something to do with their view of themselves, or God, or the universe or whatever.  They simply don't see the reason why they should accept the money, when it would clearly be a benefit to their financial situation.

I think that it tends to be very much the same case with love and worth.

We so often think we don't deserve, or can't have, love because of whatever the heck we've done or whoever the heck we are.  Yet, my knowledge of God leads me to believe that He doesn't really care about any of those things.  He simply gives us all of His love because He wants us to live with Him.   It's free to us, but just like any free thing, we have to put the effort in to accept what it is that we've been given, and incorporate it into our lives.  We may have to sacrifice things very dear to our hearts in order to do this, too.

I've met so many good people who suffer in terrible relationships and jobs because they don't realize the worth that God places on their happiness.  They don't think themselves worth anything more than minimum wage, or the girlfriend/boyfriend who let's them down time and time again.  They give up on their hope, or desire because their own view of their worth, or their view of what God wants for them tends to snuff it out.  I'm not saying this is the case with everyone, because I know that not everyone thinks this.

I'm often left to think: "Well, what can I do for them?"

The only answer that I've ever received is simply "Love them."  "Love them as I have loved you."

And then I think about everything that God does for me.  He's given Himself for my eternal happiness, He's forgiven me even through all of the terrible and betraying acts that I've made against Him and welcomed me every time I come to Him, and He's put incredible people in my life that have helped me to know more and more of Him.

How could I not love Him?  He's done more than I could ever pay Him back for.

And then I remember that He has asked me to do the same for others.  Give myself for the eternal happiness of others, forgive those who have done terrible things and betrayed me and welcome them into my arms the second they turn around and ask for mercy and love, and help the amazing people in my life to know the other amazing people in my life so we can all learn of God together.

That is what I want.  I want love and God and worth and life for each and every single person that I know and that will accept it.

I believe it's possible.  We all just need to learn to see and accept the goodness in this life.  Everything is good to those who are good.

That's all for today.


Love,

Dallin Hughes

Is It In The Genes?

Until recently, I didn't know that the way that I handle my relationships had so much to do with the way my parents interacted with each other when I was younger, and how much of how my parents acted was learned from the way their parents acted.

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I'm a quarter Korean.  Yeah, I know.  It's not a huge deal.  I mean heck, I don't even look like it.  Still, I have learned a huge amount about how Koreans interact in their relationships without even knowing it.

In Korea, it is not normal for people in a relationship with a significant other to hang out with anyone else of the opposite gender.  My mom said that it was even uncomfortable for her and her mother to receive compliments from men.  I didn't realize it, but that's very much how I had assumed all relationships would be.  You find your person and you stick with them and avoid drama in every way possible.

My mother lived that to a very tall "T".  My dad, on the other hand, just wasn't that way.  That is, he is very friendly and outgoing with whoever it is that wants to talk with him.

My parents had incredibly different rules for how their romantic relationship should be handled, and they didn't really communicate about it at first.  My mom, didn't know how to live with someone who she thought might be eyeing everyone and anyone simply because he smiled and said hi to everyone that walked down the street.  She only thought that because she didn't think about her relationships the way that my dad did.  My dad turned out to be a great guy who simply wanted everyone to know that there was someone in the world who cared about them.

Let's be honest though.  They both had very good reasons for doing what they were doing.  My mom avoided so much drama that exists in the world today and my dad has never doubted her loyalty, while my dad has helped many people come to know what love and kindness are.

My mom was not accustomed to that way of living though, and it took her a good time and a lot of communication to trust that my dad's heart was in the right place.

They talked about it all though, and that's more than taken care of.  It even turns out that there are many benefactors to the communication that they developed.  While it may not be perfect, they certainly understand each other a lot better.

Why am I talking about this though?

I think that a lot of what we expect out of our relationships has loads to do with how we saw our father/mother figures handle their relationships.

I recently learned that, while I express a whole heck of a lot of the social qualities my dad does, I've naturally been inclined to expect the attitude that my mother took as the attitude of my significant other.  So, what happened when someone that I loved didn't act the way my mom does?  What happened when she would hang out with, or talk to, people of the opposite gender?  My brain would do a little dance, fall over, and not be able to get up.  I became the controlling person that I have tried to avoid becoming since deciding that I wanted to be romantically involved with this person.  I suddenly asked myself  "Why would she do this?  Why would she do that?" and then answered those questions with the worst possible answer I could think of.  

It wasn't my intention to mistrust or freak out.  I was just experiencing something totally outside of what I thought a relationship should be.  It wasn't her fault either.  I didn't know why I felt this way until recently.  I don't really consider it to be unfair though, because everyone has the opportunity to seek after what they want, including a beautiful and healthy relationship.  

I'm not saying that I want a woman who couldn't give an unsightly piece of fecal matter about anyone but me, but rather that I want someone who loves me unconditionally and wants to communicate with me about what she's done, doing, and going to do because she understands the way I see the world and knows that is one of the most loving things she could do for me, and I want to get better at doing those same things, because life and love just aren't fun when there isn't enough communication.

Dallin Hughes

Come Unto Christ

A Little Update

I've personally been on a spiritual journey while trying to come to know God and it has led me to places that I never thought that I would have to go, Hell being one of them.

The last few months have certainly been the hardest months of my life and that's saying something because my mission trip was no walk in the park.  In fact, the two years I was in Nicaragua were the darkest two years of my life up until that point, but I'll save some of those stories for another time.

What's Been On My Mind

Have you ever heard the song "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief"?  Or maybe you've heard that Christ was a man "acquainted with grief"?

I used to think that meant that He had helped so many people, or that He had suffered for us, so, naturally, He understood what we were going through.  My perspective on that has changed a little, though.

Now, however, I tend to think that He knew grief because He knew The Father and was guided by Him and nobody else understood.  Nobody understood or accepted the path that God had asked Him to take.  Rather, they were offended, calling him all sorts of things, speaking terribly to others about the things He did, even if they were incredibly kind things.  His closest friends and family even reprimanded Him for speaking of the mission that The Father gave Him.

Who would have accepted it, though?  Nobody really could see what was going on.  Nobody asked to know.

Where I'm At

Now, I feel as though I have only started on that same path and it seems as if the whole world is trying to chew me up and spit me out, rejecting every bit of kindness that I have tried to show, and calling me a liar, two-faced, or fake. This hasn't been done in so many words, but people have definitely doubted my authenticity and turned bitter because of it.  I'm not bitter, though.  If the tables had been turned, I would probably have responded the same.  I don't really expect anyone to understand, though I wish they would.

I've done so many things that The Lord has asked me to do that I, not even in my wildest dreams, had imagined doing-things ranging from purchasing a lottery ticket (I swore in my youth that I would never gamble) to telling the person I considered to be my best friend that I couldn't involve myself in their life anymore.  One thing I've learned is that He will break your heart to set you straight, and sometimes, he'll do it the same way multiple times, because you didn't learn the darned lesson He wanted you to learn in the first place.

I've found that He will ask you to give up what is most important to you to show your love to Him.  Hard stuff, eh?  It doesn't get easier.  Whoever said that life and love were easy never knew God.

I want to add some of my own thoughts to 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13.  This chapter talks about Charity.  Now, when reading this, I like to change the words from "Have not Charity" to "do not love Christ".  See what happens for you when reading it.  It's pretty cool.  Before, I'd always known charity to be the quality of love we should express towards those around us, but I've learned that the pure love 'of' Christ is really just pure love 'for' Christ, and that when we love Christ as He asked us in John 14:15, we become like Him, loving all people and animals and things just as He did. Whereas, when we just decide to love everyone the way we think we should without involving Christ, we lose His perspective, and then we aren't really doing anything here.

One thing I ought to mention is that love doesn't always look like what we want it to.  In fact, I'm pretty sure the Pharisees would have considered it loving towards them had Christ just joined up with them in their skewed up thoughts and beliefs about God and such, as with the Sadducees, and basically any other religious/political group that existed in that time.  They would ask God to conform to their ideas before taking the time and effort (because it takes a heck of a lot of both) to find out who He is, or before taking into consideration that God and love might be different from what they thought, but no.  That would be just too scary.  It would be too scary to admit that they were wrong and that they didn't really know much at all.

This Is What I Know

I feel as if I know so little, and yet, I know that even that little that I do know is true, because Christ Himself has confirmed it to me.  No, I'm not saved, because He says I still have a lot to do, but I am coming to know Him, and I believe that I will be saved, one day.

I've seen Him twice.  I know that He lives.  I know He loves us.  I know that The Book of Mormon teaches us the Pure and Simple Doctrine of Jesus Christ, and many more things.  I know that Joseph Smith was called of God to teach us about the covenants that God made with prophets past.  I know that God asks us to do the hardest things that we could ever imagine.

I know He's waiting for us, arms wide open.

There are a few other things I know, but that's about it.  Everything else remains a mystery to me.


I love you all,

Dallin Hughes

Also, please be ready for some more posts coming your way.

I have more stories to tell.