Saturday, February 22, 2014

Let's beat dogma up in the face.

This may be an unnecessary post, (seeing as the people who have asked me this question asked it a very, very long time ago and those people may have already found their answers) but I wanted to address this thing that's been on my mind lately.

This is addressed to men specifically, but if any ladies want to voice their opinion, then by all means, let it be read/heard.

No woman will ever really want to be your #1, even in a romantic relationship, regardless of what media or women themselves will tell you.

Er, let me rephrase that.  No woman who recognizes her value and who actively seeks to fulfill her mission (whether that be serving God, seeking to end world poverty, creating worldwide peace or other smaller or larger goals she has) will want to be your #1, despite what media or the majority of women may say.

Oh boy.  I feel like I've said something that might shake a few worlds.

I think and feel this to be true though, so I will carry on.

What the heck do I mean by "#1"?!  I mean your main focus.  Let's clarify though.  Your #1 focus is different than giving her your 100% focus.  Women want a man with a mission.

Why then would any woman ever say that they want to be your #1?  Well, let me tell you.  It's a battle that she will always want to fight, but never want to win.  She wants for you to be desirable.  Can you be desired if you're already had?  I don't think so.  To desire something implies that you do not yet have it.

That does NOT mean you ignore her.  She should be your #2.  That means you definitely give her attention.  Take Tony Stark for example.  He is Iron Man, right?  But take away the suit and what do you get?  A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.  He was driven.  He always has a mission.  Just imagine him working on something in his basement.  Pepper, his girlfriend, comes down to tell him about something that demands his attention.  What would he do?  He would probably kid around as he continues his work.  Sure, that might annoy the heck out of her, but he does what fulfills himself first so he can take care of her with 100% of himself later.  I might add that he does it without an apology, because apologizing after he's decided to do something he's passionate about is like making a puppy dog face and asking for forgiveness for doing something you wanted and intended to do.  However, like I said earlier, don't ignore her.  Learn about her to know when she is in need and make sure you spend quality time with her.  Having and making your mission #1 makes the time she spends with you more valuable.  What is a man without a purpose?

Here's what I think it comes down to:  I am responsible for my happiness.  You are responsible for your happiness.  When we each realize that the individual is responsible for him or herself, then not only are we allowing each other to grow by overcoming that phase of their life, but we become an example of what happiness is.

I really have no clue how to subtly address this topic.  Hahaha.  I'm sure there's much more left to be said, that's why I encourage comments.  I WANT YOU! to leave a comment.  ;)

Love,

Dallin Hughes

1 comment:

  1. I've never thought of it that way, but it does make sense. When you first said the whole "No woman will ever want to be your #1" I was like whaaaat... x) It is attractive, though, when a guy has a purpose and a mission! If he was just all clingy and didn't care about doing ANY THING at all except giving me his full undivided attention, that would get annoying I think. O.o

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