Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Let's beat dogma up in the face.
This may be an unnecessary post, (seeing as the people who have asked me this question asked it a very, very long time ago and those people may have already found their answers) but I wanted to address this thing that's been on my mind lately.
This is addressed to men specifically, but if any ladies want to voice their opinion, then by all means, let it be read/heard.
No woman will ever really want to be your #1, even in a romantic relationship, regardless of what media or women themselves will tell you.
Er, let me rephrase that. No woman who recognizes her value and who actively seeks to fulfill her mission (whether that be serving God, seeking to end world poverty, creating worldwide peace or other smaller or larger goals she has) will want to be your #1, despite what media or the majority of women may say.
Oh boy. I feel like I've said something that might shake a few worlds.
I think and feel this to be true though, so I will carry on.
What the heck do I mean by "#1"?! I mean your main focus. Let's clarify though. Your #1 focus is different than giving her your 100% focus. Women want a man with a mission.
Why then would any woman ever say that they want to be your #1? Well, let me tell you. It's a battle that she will always want to fight, but never want to win. She wants for you to be desirable. Can you be desired if you're already had? I don't think so. To desire something implies that you do not yet have it.
That does NOT mean you ignore her. She should be your #2. That means you definitely give her attention. Take Tony Stark for example. He is Iron Man, right? But take away the suit and what do you get? A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. He was driven. He always has a mission. Just imagine him working on something in his basement. Pepper, his girlfriend, comes down to tell him about something that demands his attention. What would he do? He would probably kid around as he continues his work. Sure, that might annoy the heck out of her, but he does what fulfills himself first so he can take care of her with 100% of himself later. I might add that he does it without an apology, because apologizing after he's decided to do something he's passionate about is like making a puppy dog face and asking for forgiveness for doing something you wanted and intended to do. However, like I said earlier, don't ignore her. Learn about her to know when she is in need and make sure you spend quality time with her. Having and making your mission #1 makes the time she spends with you more valuable. What is a man without a purpose?
Here's what I think it comes down to: I am responsible for my happiness. You are responsible for your happiness. When we each realize that the individual is responsible for him or herself, then not only are we allowing each other to grow by overcoming that phase of their life, but we become an example of what happiness is.
I really have no clue how to subtly address this topic. Hahaha. I'm sure there's much more left to be said, that's why I encourage comments. I WANT YOU! to leave a comment. ;)
Love,
Dallin Hughes
This is addressed to men specifically, but if any ladies want to voice their opinion, then by all means, let it be read/heard.
No woman will ever really want to be your #1, even in a romantic relationship, regardless of what media or women themselves will tell you.
Er, let me rephrase that. No woman who recognizes her value and who actively seeks to fulfill her mission (whether that be serving God, seeking to end world poverty, creating worldwide peace or other smaller or larger goals she has) will want to be your #1, despite what media or the majority of women may say.
Oh boy. I feel like I've said something that might shake a few worlds.
I think and feel this to be true though, so I will carry on.
What the heck do I mean by "#1"?! I mean your main focus. Let's clarify though. Your #1 focus is different than giving her your 100% focus. Women want a man with a mission.
Why then would any woman ever say that they want to be your #1? Well, let me tell you. It's a battle that she will always want to fight, but never want to win. She wants for you to be desirable. Can you be desired if you're already had? I don't think so. To desire something implies that you do not yet have it.
That does NOT mean you ignore her. She should be your #2. That means you definitely give her attention. Take Tony Stark for example. He is Iron Man, right? But take away the suit and what do you get? A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. He was driven. He always has a mission. Just imagine him working on something in his basement. Pepper, his girlfriend, comes down to tell him about something that demands his attention. What would he do? He would probably kid around as he continues his work. Sure, that might annoy the heck out of her, but he does what fulfills himself first so he can take care of her with 100% of himself later. I might add that he does it without an apology, because apologizing after he's decided to do something he's passionate about is like making a puppy dog face and asking for forgiveness for doing something you wanted and intended to do. However, like I said earlier, don't ignore her. Learn about her to know when she is in need and make sure you spend quality time with her. Having and making your mission #1 makes the time she spends with you more valuable. What is a man without a purpose?
Here's what I think it comes down to: I am responsible for my happiness. You are responsible for your happiness. When we each realize that the individual is responsible for him or herself, then not only are we allowing each other to grow by overcoming that phase of their life, but we become an example of what happiness is.
I really have no clue how to subtly address this topic. Hahaha. I'm sure there's much more left to be said, that's why I encourage comments. I WANT YOU! to leave a comment. ;)
Love,
Dallin Hughes
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Your focus feeds the fight.
I'm just absolutely stunned at how simple the truth is.
For the longest time, I was searching for the answer to why I wasn't getting the results I wanted to. You know what? I even found THE problem... sort of.
I found a problem, sure. Heck, I CREATED that problem so I could have something to focus on to get rid of, when in reality, the problem was that I was searching for a problem. So, instead of living the solution and achieving my mission, I found something to blame instead. Kinda sad, eh? Yeah, I know. Here's something I learned when I learned about this. It happens all the time, and it happens to everyone. People who want to be better focus on why they aren't better, couples will focus on each other's little flaws and why their relationship won't work anymore instead of recognizing the effort made by each and the bajillions of good things they both have to offer to that relationship.
In the New Testament, it is said that Christ suffered temptations, but he gave them no heed. No heed! Oh, how easy it is! And it took me this long to actually get it. Haha. I'm glad it did though. It allows me to appreciate it more. I've been practicing. Sure, there are things that annoy me. There are things that make me upset, but those emotions pass. It's just a matter of how quickly you decide not to pay them any heed.
What's your focus?
Dallin Hughes
For the longest time, I was searching for the answer to why I wasn't getting the results I wanted to. You know what? I even found THE problem... sort of.
I found a problem, sure. Heck, I CREATED that problem so I could have something to focus on to get rid of, when in reality, the problem was that I was searching for a problem. So, instead of living the solution and achieving my mission, I found something to blame instead. Kinda sad, eh? Yeah, I know. Here's something I learned when I learned about this. It happens all the time, and it happens to everyone. People who want to be better focus on why they aren't better, couples will focus on each other's little flaws and why their relationship won't work anymore instead of recognizing the effort made by each and the bajillions of good things they both have to offer to that relationship.
In the New Testament, it is said that Christ suffered temptations, but he gave them no heed. No heed! Oh, how easy it is! And it took me this long to actually get it. Haha. I'm glad it did though. It allows me to appreciate it more. I've been practicing. Sure, there are things that annoy me. There are things that make me upset, but those emotions pass. It's just a matter of how quickly you decide not to pay them any heed.
What's your focus?
Dallin Hughes
I feel as if I'm standing on the boardwalk, breathing in the air around me and loving the friendliness of it, while everyone around me thinks the air is water, so they try to swim. It's a funny sight in a sad way and makes me want to weep as I laugh at the ridiculousness of it. "You can stand, you can walk, you can breathe." But they don't hear me. They can't hear me because their experiences are full of muffled sounds created by the dense water they call "atmosphere". It is only when I take hold of one's hand and speak and move freely with them that they understand their world isn't what it seemed. When I let go, they often retreat somewhat to what they knew, but not entirely. They now know they can come out of the water. They act as if the air is cold. They stay in the shallow water, crouching in it to keep the sensation and temperature the same.
Monday, February 10, 2014
I don't imagine to escape the reality I live in. I imagine to bring out the beauty this reality has. I imagine to create something more. Something more beautiful, something more intriguing, something the man with the superb observational skills wouldn't have noticed "could be" as he walked down the street, because he only saw what "is".
Like taking the heads of flowers and drawing them where the spokes of bicycle wheels should be. Why? Well, I've created a context. I've opened an avenue for the mind to travel, and closing in on my goal, I cleverly end my short trip at the door of a quip. He told me "Put the petal to the metal in your mind." So I did.
Like taking the heads of flowers and drawing them where the spokes of bicycle wheels should be. Why? Well, I've created a context. I've opened an avenue for the mind to travel, and closing in on my goal, I cleverly end my short trip at the door of a quip. He told me "Put the petal to the metal in your mind." So I did.
My daydreams of romance. Yeah, I know. They aren't perfect, but I'm still learning.
We laid there on the couch, taking turns reading to each other for the past hour.
Her heartbeat and breathing had slowed and I realized that she had fallen asleep listening while I had taken my turn reading to her.
As we laid there, I enjoyed the most amazing feeling that accompanied having someone trust you so completely as to let you hold them and take care of them.
I enjoyed having her head resting on my chest, the rhythm of her heartbeat against mine, and the constant up and down of her chest. It was almost like a piece of heaven, seeing her face so calm. Utter peace and serenity, light and glory radiated from her figure, like there was no wrong or evil in this world, like all the past bitternesses and wrongdoings had been completely wiped from existence. She looked as innocent as a three month old baby who had just learned to smile.
I knew that even though this world was filled with immeasurable beauty, it would be worth naught without her-the woman who had chosen to stand by my side through everything that life would throw at us.
I wondered how long it would be before we had our first child, how many children we would have the blessing and privilege of welcoming into this world, what they would be like, whose lives they'd influence, how many people would be blessed by their actions, what cute and completely innocent things they would say. There were endless roads for the imagination.
As I reflect on that night, I realize why it was that I was so blessed with the family I now have. I know it is because I was more than willing to be a part of the plan of happiness that my Father in Heaven laid out for us.
Also, I wrote this forever ago. I don't even remember when. x)
Her heartbeat and breathing had slowed and I realized that she had fallen asleep listening while I had taken my turn reading to her.
As we laid there, I enjoyed the most amazing feeling that accompanied having someone trust you so completely as to let you hold them and take care of them.
I enjoyed having her head resting on my chest, the rhythm of her heartbeat against mine, and the constant up and down of her chest. It was almost like a piece of heaven, seeing her face so calm. Utter peace and serenity, light and glory radiated from her figure, like there was no wrong or evil in this world, like all the past bitternesses and wrongdoings had been completely wiped from existence. She looked as innocent as a three month old baby who had just learned to smile.
I knew that even though this world was filled with immeasurable beauty, it would be worth naught without her-the woman who had chosen to stand by my side through everything that life would throw at us.
I wondered how long it would be before we had our first child, how many children we would have the blessing and privilege of welcoming into this world, what they would be like, whose lives they'd influence, how many people would be blessed by their actions, what cute and completely innocent things they would say. There were endless roads for the imagination.
As I reflect on that night, I realize why it was that I was so blessed with the family I now have. I know it is because I was more than willing to be a part of the plan of happiness that my Father in Heaven laid out for us.
Also, I wrote this forever ago. I don't even remember when. x)
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Let's keep it going. :)
I believe there are two fundamental beliefs that govern everything we do in relation to how we treat ourselves and others.
1. That all men are created equal.
2. That all men are not created equal.
I think I'll talk about the second first.
2. That all men are not created equal.
When we buy into this belief, we also buy into several lies that tear down what could have been a powerful and peaceful life. Here's one I've dealt with in the past: "They're wrong, you're right." The unspoken words of this lie often follow the lines of "This means you have the authority to tell them they're wrong or ask questions in a way that is specifically leading them to believe you know what is best for them." Which isn't always true. I personally believe that there exists in this world something called "absolute truth". That being said, this one has had a tendency to be the most recurring lie I've had trouble with and I'm sorry if you've been on the receiving end while I was being influenced by this belief.
A couple reasons why this specific belief is dangerous: 1. It creates friends and enemies. Well, more accurately, it causes you to take sides. It creates conflict. 2. It dehumanizes others, meaning those people become "lesser" people. This isn't a belief that creates a lot of friendships, because there are very few people on this planet who believe everything you believe.
A friend of mine asked me a while ago how to influence someone who was buying into a belief that wasn't true, or at least wasn't what you believe. I sat there and looked into her eyes and I had no idea what to say. Up until that moment, I had never considered it. I'm pretty ignorant and prideful, especially for how observant and neutral I am, if you know what I mean. ;) Well, I think I know the answer now. Or at least, an answer. Love them a lot, don't argue with them, and live your life with your beliefs as your example to them, not in a prideful way, but in a way exhibiting unconditional love exactly the way they need it.. When they open up, don't shoot them down with your beliefs. Explain to them what you believe and why you believe it, then take their situation and apply it using questions that prompt them instead of telling them that they're wrong and they need to change. It's the art of persuasion. I'm not very good at it, but I'm only a baby right now. Haha.
Now, back to belief numero uno.
1. That all men are created equal.
I believe this belief is fundamental to happiness in our relationships because when we recognize this, we also recognize that others have the same potential we have for greatness. That simple recognition allows their impression in our minds to grow and flourish because we then recognize the truth. The truth I'm talking about is that we all change. I couldn't possibly share all of the blessings I've received while recognizing this as a true belief. For one, the arguments I have are filled with love and they all turn funny somehow and end in both parties learning a lot. Another example is my tolerance is no longer just tolerance. It's become compassion and patience. Don't get me wrong. There's plenty I still have to improve on in this area of my life, but It's getting easier. I feel brighter, if that makes any sense. Haha.
Another way to look at it is that if we are created equal, than we are also intended to govern ourselves in the way we see fit. That's kinda important, right? Haha
Thanks for reading, you sparkly eyed human. I appreciate that twinkle.
Dallin Hughes
1. That all men are created equal.
2. That all men are not created equal.
I think I'll talk about the second first.
2. That all men are not created equal.
When we buy into this belief, we also buy into several lies that tear down what could have been a powerful and peaceful life. Here's one I've dealt with in the past: "They're wrong, you're right." The unspoken words of this lie often follow the lines of "This means you have the authority to tell them they're wrong or ask questions in a way that is specifically leading them to believe you know what is best for them." Which isn't always true. I personally believe that there exists in this world something called "absolute truth". That being said, this one has had a tendency to be the most recurring lie I've had trouble with and I'm sorry if you've been on the receiving end while I was being influenced by this belief.
A couple reasons why this specific belief is dangerous: 1. It creates friends and enemies. Well, more accurately, it causes you to take sides. It creates conflict. 2. It dehumanizes others, meaning those people become "lesser" people. This isn't a belief that creates a lot of friendships, because there are very few people on this planet who believe everything you believe.
A friend of mine asked me a while ago how to influence someone who was buying into a belief that wasn't true, or at least wasn't what you believe. I sat there and looked into her eyes and I had no idea what to say. Up until that moment, I had never considered it. I'm pretty ignorant and prideful, especially for how observant and neutral I am, if you know what I mean. ;) Well, I think I know the answer now. Or at least, an answer. Love them a lot, don't argue with them, and live your life with your beliefs as your example to them, not in a prideful way, but in a way exhibiting unconditional love exactly the way they need it.. When they open up, don't shoot them down with your beliefs. Explain to them what you believe and why you believe it, then take their situation and apply it using questions that prompt them instead of telling them that they're wrong and they need to change. It's the art of persuasion. I'm not very good at it, but I'm only a baby right now. Haha.
Now, back to belief numero uno.
1. That all men are created equal.
I believe this belief is fundamental to happiness in our relationships because when we recognize this, we also recognize that others have the same potential we have for greatness. That simple recognition allows their impression in our minds to grow and flourish because we then recognize the truth. The truth I'm talking about is that we all change. I couldn't possibly share all of the blessings I've received while recognizing this as a true belief. For one, the arguments I have are filled with love and they all turn funny somehow and end in both parties learning a lot. Another example is my tolerance is no longer just tolerance. It's become compassion and patience. Don't get me wrong. There's plenty I still have to improve on in this area of my life, but It's getting easier. I feel brighter, if that makes any sense. Haha.
Another way to look at it is that if we are created equal, than we are also intended to govern ourselves in the way we see fit. That's kinda important, right? Haha
Thanks for reading, you sparkly eyed human. I appreciate that twinkle.
Dallin Hughes
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