Love, Worth, and Money: It's There.

I once had the privilege of spending time with a friend of mine that would give money away to people secretly.  He would hide it in their clothes, bags, cars, you name it.  Isn't that cool?

The sad part to me is that when people found that money, very few of them would accept it.  They would find ways to get rid of it, whether that be by trying to find out who it was that gave it to them, or just leaving it somewhere, or giving it to whoever passed by.

I've personally tried to give several of my friends money when they're in hard places or even when they're doing alright, and it blows me away how many people choose not to gratefully accept it.

I believe it has something to do with their view of themselves, or God, or the universe or whatever.  They simply don't see the reason why they should accept the money, when it would clearly be a benefit to their financial situation.

I think that it tends to be very much the same case with love and worth.

We so often think we don't deserve, or can't have, love because of whatever the heck we've done or whoever the heck we are.  Yet, my knowledge of God leads me to believe that He doesn't really care about any of those things.  He simply gives us all of His love because He wants us to live with Him.   It's free to us, but just like any free thing, we have to put the effort in to accept what it is that we've been given, and incorporate it into our lives.  We may have to sacrifice things very dear to our hearts in order to do this, too.

I've met so many good people who suffer in terrible relationships and jobs because they don't realize the worth that God places on their happiness.  They don't think themselves worth anything more than minimum wage, or the girlfriend/boyfriend who let's them down time and time again.  They give up on their hope, or desire because their own view of their worth, or their view of what God wants for them tends to snuff it out.  I'm not saying this is the case with everyone, because I know that not everyone thinks this.

I'm often left to think: "Well, what can I do for them?"

The only answer that I've ever received is simply "Love them."  "Love them as I have loved you."

And then I think about everything that God does for me.  He's given Himself for my eternal happiness, He's forgiven me even through all of the terrible and betraying acts that I've made against Him and welcomed me every time I come to Him, and He's put incredible people in my life that have helped me to know more and more of Him.

How could I not love Him?  He's done more than I could ever pay Him back for.

And then I remember that He has asked me to do the same for others.  Give myself for the eternal happiness of others, forgive those who have done terrible things and betrayed me and welcome them into my arms the second they turn around and ask for mercy and love, and help the amazing people in my life to know the other amazing people in my life so we can all learn of God together.

That is what I want.  I want love and God and worth and life for each and every single person that I know and that will accept it.

I believe it's possible.  We all just need to learn to see and accept the goodness in this life.  Everything is good to those who are good.

That's all for today.


Love,

Dallin Hughes

Is It In The Genes?

Until recently, I didn't know that the way that I handle my relationships had so much to do with the way my parents interacted with each other when I was younger, and how much of how my parents acted was learned from the way their parents acted.

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I'm a quarter Korean.  Yeah, I know.  It's not a huge deal.  I mean heck, I don't even look like it.  Still, I have learned a huge amount about how Koreans interact in their relationships without even knowing it.

In Korea, it is not normal for people in a relationship with a significant other to hang out with anyone else of the opposite gender.  My mom said that it was even uncomfortable for her and her mother to receive compliments from men.  I didn't realize it, but that's very much how I had assumed all relationships would be.  You find your person and you stick with them and avoid drama in every way possible.

My mother lived that to a very tall "T".  My dad, on the other hand, just wasn't that way.  That is, he is very friendly and outgoing with whoever it is that wants to talk with him.

My parents had incredibly different rules for how their romantic relationship should be handled, and they didn't really communicate about it at first.  My mom, didn't know how to live with someone who she thought might be eyeing everyone and anyone simply because he smiled and said hi to everyone that walked down the street.  She only thought that because she didn't think about her relationships the way that my dad did.  My dad turned out to be a great guy who simply wanted everyone to know that there was someone in the world who cared about them.

Let's be honest though.  They both had very good reasons for doing what they were doing.  My mom avoided so much drama that exists in the world today and my dad has never doubted her loyalty, while my dad has helped many people come to know what love and kindness are.

My mom was not accustomed to that way of living though, and it took her a good time and a lot of communication to trust that my dad's heart was in the right place.

They talked about it all though, and that's more than taken care of.  It even turns out that there are many benefactors to the communication that they developed.  While it may not be perfect, they certainly understand each other a lot better.

Why am I talking about this though?

I think that a lot of what we expect out of our relationships has loads to do with how we saw our father/mother figures handle their relationships.

I recently learned that, while I express a whole heck of a lot of the social qualities my dad does, I've naturally been inclined to expect the attitude that my mother took as the attitude of my significant other.  So, what happened when someone that I loved didn't act the way my mom does?  What happened when she would hang out with, or talk to, people of the opposite gender?  My brain would do a little dance, fall over, and not be able to get up.  I became the controlling person that I have tried to avoid becoming since deciding that I wanted to be romantically involved with this person.  I suddenly asked myself  "Why would she do this?  Why would she do that?" and then answered those questions with the worst possible answer I could think of.  

It wasn't my intention to mistrust or freak out.  I was just experiencing something totally outside of what I thought a relationship should be.  It wasn't her fault either.  I didn't know why I felt this way until recently.  I don't really consider it to be unfair though, because everyone has the opportunity to seek after what they want, including a beautiful and healthy relationship.  

I'm not saying that I want a woman who couldn't give an unsightly piece of fecal matter about anyone but me, but rather that I want someone who loves me unconditionally and wants to communicate with me about what she's done, doing, and going to do because she understands the way I see the world and knows that is one of the most loving things she could do for me, and I want to get better at doing those same things, because life and love just aren't fun when there isn't enough communication.

Dallin Hughes

Come Unto Christ

A Little Update

I've personally been on a spiritual journey while trying to come to know God and it has led me to places that I never thought that I would have to go, Hell being one of them.

The last few months have certainly been the hardest months of my life and that's saying something because my mission trip was no walk in the park.  In fact, the two years I was in Nicaragua were the darkest two years of my life up until that point, but I'll save some of those stories for another time.

What's Been On My Mind

Have you ever heard the song "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief"?  Or maybe you've heard that Christ was a man "acquainted with grief"?

I used to think that meant that He had helped so many people, or that He had suffered for us, so, naturally, He understood what we were going through.  My perspective on that has changed a little, though.

Now, however, I tend to think that He knew grief because He knew The Father and was guided by Him and nobody else understood.  Nobody understood or accepted the path that God had asked Him to take.  Rather, they were offended, calling him all sorts of things, speaking terribly to others about the things He did, even if they were incredibly kind things.  His closest friends and family even reprimanded Him for speaking of the mission that The Father gave Him.

Who would have accepted it, though?  Nobody really could see what was going on.  Nobody asked to know.

Where I'm At

Now, I feel as though I have only started on that same path and it seems as if the whole world is trying to chew me up and spit me out, rejecting every bit of kindness that I have tried to show, and calling me a liar, two-faced, or fake. This hasn't been done in so many words, but people have definitely doubted my authenticity and turned bitter because of it.  I'm not bitter, though.  If the tables had been turned, I would probably have responded the same.  I don't really expect anyone to understand, though I wish they would.

I've done so many things that The Lord has asked me to do that I, not even in my wildest dreams, had imagined doing-things ranging from purchasing a lottery ticket (I swore in my youth that I would never gamble) to telling the person I considered to be my best friend that I couldn't involve myself in their life anymore.  One thing I've learned is that He will break your heart to set you straight, and sometimes, he'll do it the same way multiple times, because you didn't learn the darned lesson He wanted you to learn in the first place.

I've found that He will ask you to give up what is most important to you to show your love to Him.  Hard stuff, eh?  It doesn't get easier.  Whoever said that life and love were easy never knew God.

I want to add some of my own thoughts to 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13.  This chapter talks about Charity.  Now, when reading this, I like to change the words from "Have not Charity" to "do not love Christ".  See what happens for you when reading it.  It's pretty cool.  Before, I'd always known charity to be the quality of love we should express towards those around us, but I've learned that the pure love 'of' Christ is really just pure love 'for' Christ, and that when we love Christ as He asked us in John 14:15, we become like Him, loving all people and animals and things just as He did. Whereas, when we just decide to love everyone the way we think we should without involving Christ, we lose His perspective, and then we aren't really doing anything here.

One thing I ought to mention is that love doesn't always look like what we want it to.  In fact, I'm pretty sure the Pharisees would have considered it loving towards them had Christ just joined up with them in their skewed up thoughts and beliefs about God and such, as with the Sadducees, and basically any other religious/political group that existed in that time.  They would ask God to conform to their ideas before taking the time and effort (because it takes a heck of a lot of both) to find out who He is, or before taking into consideration that God and love might be different from what they thought, but no.  That would be just too scary.  It would be too scary to admit that they were wrong and that they didn't really know much at all.

This Is What I Know

I feel as if I know so little, and yet, I know that even that little that I do know is true, because Christ Himself has confirmed it to me.  No, I'm not saved, because He says I still have a lot to do, but I am coming to know Him, and I believe that I will be saved, one day.

I've seen Him twice.  I know that He lives.  I know He loves us.  I know that The Book of Mormon teaches us the Pure and Simple Doctrine of Jesus Christ, and many more things.  I know that Joseph Smith was called of God to teach us about the covenants that God made with prophets past.  I know that God asks us to do the hardest things that we could ever imagine.

I know He's waiting for us, arms wide open.

There are a few other things I know, but that's about it.  Everything else remains a mystery to me.


I love you all,

Dallin Hughes

Also, please be ready for some more posts coming your way.

I have more stories to tell.

Don't You Dare Tell Me.

These two words, "I can't"

Have already destroyed dreams,

Innumerable.

Be True

This above all: To thin own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

I feel like I'm decent at this.  There are some times though that being true to myself are extremely difficult in.

So I spend time figuring out exactly which parts of me are true and need to be held fast to, and which are not and can be let go.

Still I'm not perfect at letting them go.  Being good at it takes many a serious emotional work out.  I know, because I know exactly how it works.  I've walked through the steps, felt the release, and stood up straighter afterwards.

The fears you fear so deeply that they grip you and hold you there? The "needs" you believe you have that are a requirement for you to know you're loved?

They can all change in a second.  They DO and WILL and HAVE changed in a second.  So go get 'em, and don't be afraid to love first.  Loving second is fine, but it's nowhere near as much fun, because taking action is fun, and fun is life.

Dallin Hughes

3.

I believe in this super cool thing called "The Word of God".

Maybe you've heard of it.  Maybe not.  That's okay.  If you haven't, can I introduce you to it?

If your answer was "yes", then keep reading.

I've been learning so much about it!  And I'm super excited to share this with you!  

I've been learning that it can be broken down into three parts that work together.

1. The Scriptures.

The scriptures are the written words of the prophets God has called in the past to tell the people of Him and His will.

2. The words of living/modern day prophets

These are the words of the prophets that have been called by God in this day and age to guide us and lead us, through the restored authority of the Priesthood.

3. Personal Revelation

Now, this one is cool.  This one specifically is the one I've been learning a bunch about.  I don't have a lot of time to write right now though, so I won't go into huge detail.

Basically, this is direct information into your mind that God gives to you about your life.  Can you believe that?!  I do.  It's something I'm striving for in my days, hours, minutes, and small moments.  Through this, I've learned that God really does care about us personally.  Since I've decided to serve Him and His children, everything is clearer.  My purpose, my drive, just everything!  Everything that I need is given to me for me to accomplish my mission.  Whether that be directions on how and what to do, something I can't do myself, or opportunities to act on what I want and believe in.

Here's another thing I've been learning about it:  There should never be a circumstance any of these three parts of The Word of God conflict.

If you find you have received a prompting or bit of inspiration that conflicts with either of the first two, you can know for a fact that it can be abandoned immediately as incorrect.

This is for many, many reasons.  One is so The Word of God has checks and balances.  A way to know exactly where your thoughts and "inspiration" are coming from.

Yup.  I love learning about the Gospel.  It's a blast.  My mind gets blown on a daily basis.  I recommend you look into it, you cool kat.

All de loves.

Dallin

June 2, 2014 at 3:45am

"Pop!"

Maturity

My parents, for the longest time, have tried to teach me how to be mature, and I am super grateful for that.  I only wish they had known what we now know about how to be mature.

I wish they had known how essential play is to life, and that play is totally and completely mature.

I believe that we are here to experience joy.  That belief gets put on the back burner by the need I often feel to provide for myself.  While I do need to provide for myself, that providence doesn't always look the way I see it, especially when my concern for comfort or security outweighs my trust in my Higher Power to provide me with opportunities for growth, gratitude and blessings.

So, here is to letting go of insecurities, and being comfortable while learning things that may be completely new and different to me and receiving the opportunities this beautiful life has to offer.  :)

Dear Sparks,

Living from the heart is what you do.  You are one of my heroes for this simple reality.  It comes so naturally for you, and it affects everyone!  Maybe you can't see the huge ripple effect you've had in this world, but it's there.  If you want evidence for it, it is totally okay to ask your friends how you've impacted their lives.

I've even felt that effect when I'm talking to your friends.  That light that you've invited into your world is now part of theirs as well.  You live from a place that has no end to its depth and that is so exciting to me!  I happen to know that the world is aching for you to spread your wings and shine the way you want to.

The way to win a heart is to live from yours, and I'd say you've won a few in your lifetime.

~Pansy

The more I learn about purposeful living and freedom, the more I realize that the kind of attitude that is required will not come out of anyone intent on living in their natural tendencies.

Introvert, extrovert, functions of the brain.  Sure, it's great to know what your tendencies are, and they are a big part of who you are right now.  It's very helpful to know which way you tend to lean in any given situation so you can catch yourself before you topple over.  It's also helpful for relationships and structure of treatment within those relationships....

But (and it's a big but) I have never met a human being who hasn't at one time or another used their tendencies as a cop-out, or at the very least tried to in their brain.

An example in my life is that I'm very fast paced in a forward direction and I quickly move from the thinking to the acting, so I have a tendency to make commitments because I can make that commitment in the moment and have that emotion be real, but then move on extremely quickly as well, sometimes forgetting about my commitment.

However, with what I'm learning about purposeful living is that I cannot live that way.  I have to slow down if I am to live life the way I believe God intended me to live it.  A life of purpose as a free individual.

I've noticed it as one of my battles.  However, I've also noticed it as one of my strengths.  Here's why.  That "go and do" mentality requires a lot of trust in self and your intuition (if you're following it).  Along with that, it also allows me to be able to say "Here's why you aren't getting the results you desire" when people come to me and ask for direction.  I've acted a lot, and that has allowed me many life experiences to sort through when people will come to me asking me what to do.  Now, that isn't to say I know what they need to do every time.  Quite the contrary.  Often, when I'm listening to someone tell me about what's holding them back, I'm sitting there thinking "What the heck.  ahh. I don't know your answer."  And I don't, sort of.  I receive an answer, but it's not the answer to their problems.  My answers come in the form of  "This is how they're feeling.  Ask them this. Give them a hug.  Now present this idea to them."  I have (and am gaining) stories with which to teach true and powerful principles about what needs to shift in peoples lives for them to achieve success, and you know what?  I'm excited to live my life excuse free, present, and unassuming.

If you feel like you can't do something or aren't the type of person you want to be, then live your life to prove to yourself what is really true.  You can and you are.

Until next time.  Buh-bye.

Dallin

Sit me in the fire,

Then cast me still.

Treat me with coal and with love,

Then help me count on above.

Ever since I was one of the littles, I've had a desire to sit and be with God.

As a little, I remember kneeling and praying, a good amount of tears, and questions unanswered in those moments.  I remember often feeling more lost after praying than I was before I had prayed, I remember trying to discover exactly what the Holy Ghost was to me, I remember trying my hardest to listen to the promptings of the Spirit, but there were very few times I can remember actually acting on what I wanted.  I would kneel there with my eyes wet and glistening, looking up to the heavens, waiting for some mighty love and all powerful presence to envelope me.

Many times did I pray, waiting for an answer that I didn't think would actually come, because answers never seemed to come.

I did write down a few of those prayers.  They're in various notebooks and I'll come across one of them every once in a while.  Every time I do see one, I get struck with the recognition that I always received an answer.  Always.  Within the same week of most of those prayers, there was an additional entry, relating something I had learned that week.  I don't remember if I had connected the dots back then, but now I have the opportunity to see that I always received exactly what I wanted or needed to grow and move on.  Now, it's a bit of a different story.  I have this intuition that points me exactly which way to walk.  I'm not perfect at following it, but I do know the direction I'm headed and that every step through the fogginess opens your eyes to space you couldn't have seen if you'd stood exactly where you were just a few moments before.  I know how to listen to my intuition.

No, I don't get to sit and be with God.  That's still a ways away.  However, I do know now that His desire is to respect and love me as well.  I do know that because I am fallen, it will take effort to reach Him again, but that He also has provided a way for us to return to Him and that He is actively pursuing our return to Him.

Can we have a few moments where we talk about how great God is and why?  I so very dearly enjoy praising my Heavenly Father.  Let me tell you why.  ;)

Dallin

Sure, healing takes time.  At least a little, anyway.  What healing really requires to be fully effective is energy.  Any change in the body or mind requires energy or solid matter.  Beliefs are so important.

How the heck do I teach people?

I'm not nervous or self-conscious about being a registered minister of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I'm not even concerned with having incredible enlightening moments with people.  Those naturally come.

I have this desire to fulfill the purposes for which I came to earth, the desire and drive that has been instilled in this body to teach and be with everyone I can, and to repent and repeat.  Not specifically in that order.  I am doing that, and yet, I desire so much more.  I often sit and think freely about my vision for the future, about what it can be.  My goal setting consists of what I feel the desire to do and how to get it done.  It kinda shows when I write.

My concern is for those people who, in every situation, would not listen.  How can I persuade them of the goodness of God?  How can I help them enjoy this life more fully?  How can I share the message I know I am here to share?

I'm still figuring that part out, and that's okay, but it is nice to know that people will listen eventually.

Dear Dallin,

Sometimes the only reminder I need is that if we all knew what was going on, life would be null.

Always remember your commitments.  Always remember your people.  Always remember to act when moved upon to do so, like sending that popcorn cup to the Brown family for Ashley, or writing your boys letters.  They're still there.  People are always there.

Love, Me.

p.s.  They will need you for what you know, simply because knowing will inspire their trust, so trust your knowing.

How much does Brandon Sanderson know?

Let's beat dogma up in the face.

This may be an unnecessary post, (seeing as the people who have asked me this question asked it a very, very long time ago and those people may have already found their answers) but I wanted to address this thing that's been on my mind lately.

This is addressed to men specifically, but if any ladies want to voice their opinion, then by all means, let it be read/heard.

No woman will ever really want to be your #1, even in a romantic relationship, regardless of what media or women themselves will tell you.

Er, let me rephrase that.  No woman who recognizes her value and who actively seeks to fulfill her mission (whether that be serving God, seeking to end world poverty, creating worldwide peace or other smaller or larger goals she has) will want to be your #1, despite what media or the majority of women may say.

Oh boy.  I feel like I've said something that might shake a few worlds.

I think and feel this to be true though, so I will carry on.

What the heck do I mean by "#1"?!  I mean your main focus.  Let's clarify though.  Your #1 focus is different than giving her your 100% focus.  Women want a man with a mission.

Why then would any woman ever say that they want to be your #1?  Well, let me tell you.  It's a battle that she will always want to fight, but never want to win.  She wants for you to be desirable.  Can you be desired if you're already had?  I don't think so.  To desire something implies that you do not yet have it.

That does NOT mean you ignore her.  She should be your #2.  That means you definitely give her attention.  Take Tony Stark for example.  He is Iron Man, right?  But take away the suit and what do you get?  A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.  He was driven.  He always has a mission.  Just imagine him working on something in his basement.  Pepper, his girlfriend, comes down to tell him about something that demands his attention.  What would he do?  He would probably kid around as he continues his work.  Sure, that might annoy the heck out of her, but he does what fulfills himself first so he can take care of her with 100% of himself later.  I might add that he does it without an apology, because apologizing after he's decided to do something he's passionate about is like making a puppy dog face and asking for forgiveness for doing something you wanted and intended to do.  However, like I said earlier, don't ignore her.  Learn about her to know when she is in need and make sure you spend quality time with her.  Having and making your mission #1 makes the time she spends with you more valuable.  What is a man without a purpose?

Here's what I think it comes down to:  I am responsible for my happiness.  You are responsible for your happiness.  When we each realize that the individual is responsible for him or herself, then not only are we allowing each other to grow by overcoming that phase of their life, but we become an example of what happiness is.

I really have no clue how to subtly address this topic.  Hahaha.  I'm sure there's much more left to be said, that's why I encourage comments.  I WANT YOU! to leave a comment.  ;)

Love,

Dallin Hughes

Your focus feeds the fight.

I'm just absolutely stunned at how simple the truth is.

For the longest time, I was searching for the answer to why I wasn't getting the results I wanted to.  You know what?  I even found THE problem... sort of.

I found a problem, sure.  Heck, I CREATED that problem so I could have something to focus on to get rid of, when in reality, the problem was that I was searching for a problem.  So, instead of living the solution and achieving my mission, I found something to blame instead.  Kinda sad, eh?  Yeah, I know.  Here's something I learned when I learned about this.  It happens all the time, and it happens to everyone.  People who want to be better focus on why they aren't better, couples will focus on each other's little flaws and why their relationship won't work anymore instead of recognizing the effort made by each and the bajillions of good things they both have to offer to that relationship.

In the New Testament, it is said that Christ suffered temptations, but he gave them no heed.  No heed!  Oh, how easy it is!  And it took me this long to actually get it.  Haha.  I'm glad it did though.  It allows me to appreciate it more.  I've been practicing.  Sure, there are things that annoy me.  There are things that make me upset, but those emotions pass.  It's just a matter of how quickly you decide not to pay them any heed.

What's your focus?

Dallin Hughes

I feel as if I'm standing on the boardwalk, breathing in the air around me and loving the friendliness of it, while everyone around me thinks the air is water, so they try to swim.  It's a funny sight in a sad way and makes me want to weep as I laugh at the ridiculousness of it.  "You can stand, you can walk, you can breathe."  But they don't hear me.  They can't hear me because their experiences are full of muffled sounds created by the dense water they call "atmosphere".  It is only when I take hold of one's hand and speak and move freely with them that they understand their world isn't what it seemed.  When I let go, they often retreat somewhat to what they knew, but not entirely.  They now know they can come out of the water.  They act as if the air is cold.  They stay in the shallow water, crouching in it to keep the sensation and temperature the same.

I don't imagine to escape the reality I live in.  I imagine to bring out the beauty this reality has.  I imagine to create something more.  Something more beautiful, something more intriguing, something the man with the superb observational skills wouldn't have noticed "could be" as he walked down the street, because he only saw what "is".

Like taking the heads of flowers and drawing them where the spokes of bicycle wheels should be.  Why?  Well, I've created a context.  I've opened an avenue for the mind to travel, and closing in on my goal, I cleverly end my short trip at the door of a quip.  He told me "Put the petal to the metal in your mind."  So I did.